Innuen-duo
by The Erudite
Summary: There really is no honor among thieves. (Rated T for some language and suggestive themes. Spoiler-free.)
The redhead seated herself at a bench and stretched out, arching her back and unwittingly exaggerating the pose such that it looked like something of an invitation. Of course, even had she been aware of the provocative nature of the move, it wouldn't have bothered her; she was completely aware of how she was often perceived and didn't mind it at all. She worked hard to maintain her figure, in point of fact, and did so because that alluring appearance was exactly the sort of thing that drew in the simple-minded clientele who could be coerced into buying even the most outlandishly priced and ultimately useless trinkets. Hey, who could resist a woman in red?

She had only recently been brought back to the castle, and despite the altruistic nature of her rescuers, she was getting about the same number of sideways glances from the men that indicated she was under quite a bit of scrutiny. She accepted this attention tacitly, since some of the men were already married, but she had never been told that she couldn't sell things within the walls, and they made for a captive audience. There was already quite a collection of royalty inside the castle, so the prospect of selling to the nobility freely made the merchant feel vastly less inhibited in terms of expressing her passions.

As she yawned and took a look at the mix of rice and chopped vegetables on her plate, she heard footsteps approaching her and immediately donned her bright, clinical smile used to greet all of her customers. "Hello, hello," she sung, ruby-red eyes beaming upward as she caught a look at the man.

The prospective customer was a white-haired man with a stubbly and angular chin who wore a black eyepatch over his right eye. His deep blue eyes gave him a babyish look, but that was contrasted by the darkened coloration of his skin. When his eye locked with those of the merchant, he, too, gave her a big grin. The man was a devilish rogue by appearance and played the role to a T. "Well, hello beautiful," he said, sliding smoothly onto the other side of the table, "You're the merchant, right? The one we saved from those nasty bandits?"

"Righto," she answered, recovering from her focus on his appearance and now taking note of her own, "Is there something I can get for you, handsome?"

He chuckled, "Maybe a piece of this, if I may be so bold." He seized her hand, which was resting on the table, and imitated a tiger's growl.

She retracted the hand, "I don't think so."

"Aw, what's the matter? Am I not up to your standards?" he pouted, "Leading me on like that... you're such a tease."

"Leading you on? I'm just trying to have dinner," she glanced down at her plate and frowned at him.

"Oh, all right, if you're going to play that way, I'll just have to change up my approach. You're always looking for your next sale, right? How far will a couple of shiny gold coins get me?"

"Far enough to be out of my sight."

"Ow," he murmured, "now that's just rude."

Anna settled herself, "Besides, I wouldn't want the petty change you ripped from some lord's cold, bloody fingers."

He cocked an eyebrow, "Are you accusing me of something?"

"I can tell by the look in your eyes, as well as your outfit," he redhead replied, "You know exactly what I mean."

"Damn," Niles sighed, "it's just as I feared. Your career path has been... similar to mine, I imagine."

"A lady never tells," she waggled her finger at him, "but you and I both know what's going on now."

The rogue shrugged, "Well, that was a waste. Still, maybe now that the pretense is all out of the way, maybe you'd like some company after all?"

She chuckled and shook her head, "I guarantee it'd take more than all the treasures you've plundered from all the castles you've burgled to buy my bed."

"What?" he shrugged, "You mean you weren't drawn in by my natural charm?"

"Don't bullshit a bullshitter," she replied, quoting an old conversation with her father.

"You're no fun," he continued to smile, but the smile evaporated as the white-haired man readjusted his position on the bench, "That's the way it is with everyone around here, either they're too easy or they're completely oblivious. And then there are a few who know before I even open my mouth."

"Sounds rough," Anna said over a mouthful of rice and diced daikon.

"All right," he turned to her sharply, "out of curiosity, why did you decide to join our merry band? We're going to be going up against some fellows who do _not_ play nice."

The ruby-haired merchant had to consider the question for a few moments. Yes, now the prospect of selling to the royals seemed like the most obvious reason to hang around with the gang of warriors, but there had been something that had attracted her attention right away, some clear and present advantage on the battlefield the day she had been rescued. Her eyebrows jumped up as she remembered: the lord! Yes, the lord who owned this odd castle in the Astral Plane. She had seen the man and chatted with him, thanking him and offering him her service in return for her rescue. Through a bit of eavesdropping and personal research, she discovered that he was technically an heir to both the Hoshidan and Nohrian thrones, and, furthermore, that he had the blood of the ancient dragons running through him. The latter part interested her less, especially because the aqua-haired woman who had relayed the information seemed uncomfortable speaking on the subject, but the fact that a single man was tied to the royalty of both nations excited her greatly. What a score it would be if she could get close to him! And besides, truth be told, the young man was rather easy on the eyes. "Er, I wanted to help your Lord Corrin."

The smirk Niles gave her told Anna that he was amused by her reply, "Ah, the fair Lord Corrin. I suppose it's only natural. Who isn't chasing his little dragon tail anymore?"

"Oh, I didn't mean—"

"Please, do you see the look on your face? You know that I know exactly what you mean."

She bowed her head, refusing to admit it.

"Fine, don't say anything. All I'm trying to do is spare you some time and hassle, love."

"Hey, you can't just tack 'love' onto the ends of your sentences!"

"And why not?" he blinked.

"That's my thing! It's been an Anna family trademark for centuries!"

"Oh, are you saying I'm being a bad boy?" he smirked, "Dear, dear me. Are you going to punish me?"

She got up and sighed, "Talking to you is a waste of time."

"That's what they all say," he called as she began to exit the mess, "Well, some of them. The rest either end up with me later on or decide to try and attack my—"

The door slammed. Anna sighed again and straightened her hair, making sure her signature ponytail was looking pert and that, therefore, she gave off a similar vibe. She took a few steps out into the courtyard, glancing at the soldiers and nobles all chatting with each other out on the castle's pathways and lawns before her eyes settled on the very lord she had just been speaking of. She saw him descend from his quarters (which were stuck up in a tree for some reason—she had meant to ask him about that) and decided to hurry over and intercept him as he walked toward the castle's main thoroughfare. "Good morrow, Lord Corrin," she waved at him as they grew close.

"Ah, hello, Anna," he stopped, "How's business? Doing well, I hope."

"Oh, tremendous," she beamed.

"That's good to hear."

"Are you headed somewhere?"

"Oh, I was just going to browse the shops for some weapons we might need for some future battles, maybe see if the tailor has anything new in stock. And then, after that, I thought I might take a quick bath; my back aches like crazy."

"Sorry to hear about that. Are you sure a bath will be enough? I've been told I make a pretty good masseuse."

"That's kind of you to offer, but I'm sure you're very busy, and it's only a small trouble. I'll take care of it myself."

"Really, it wouldn't bother me in the least."

"You're too kind, but, honestly, there's no need."

"Very well. Could I accompany you while you walk, at least?"

"If you like," he shrugged.

The pair walked slowly along the path, Corrin taking time to look at the few trees that grew up along the pathway and bordered it decoratively. He smiled upon spotting a few bluebirds chattering on the branches of one such tree. Anna took note, "Those bluebirds are lovely."

"Indeed. Birds are so majestic, what with the way they soar. All animals have that certain beauty to them, don't they? That perfectly natural movement."

"I suppose I can take you for an animal lover, then, Lord Corrin?"

"Quite. I always loved watching rabbits and squirrels dart about on the grass from the window in the fort."

"What fort was that?"

"I spent most of my childhood in a fortification about halfway between Windmire and the Ice Tribe lands."

Anna nodded, "I think I know the place. I travelled past it many a time when I was taking he northern road past the mountains. Kind of a small, inauspicious place to keep a prince, though, isn't it? I mean, any group of brigands fool enough might assume the place was abandoned and attack in hopes of seizing some helpless noble's fortune."

"There was a good reason for its inconspicuousness, and I had plenty of protection," Corrin sighed and shook his head, "It's not worth going into now."

She frowned, "Ah, I get it: sensitive subject. My bad. I didn't mean to overstep my bounds."

"It's all right," sighed the prince, "I'd be happy to talk to you a bit more at a later time, if you're still interested, it's just that I have this and that to do..."

"Say no more," the merchant winked and waved her hand in a placative fashion, "I'll get outta your hair."

He thanked her and took his leave.

Anna heard someone behind her click his teeth, "Well, now, was that your masterful attempt at courting the second-oldest Nohrian prince?"

She jumped, "Gods! Were you watching the whole time, you... you lech?"

The rogue had his eye shut and was smirking, "I've only got one good eye left, so I make sure that it doesn't miss a thing. And I'll be damned if that wasn't a thing, whatever it was."

"I was making small talk, you whackjob," she put her hands on her hips, "I can't say 'hi' to our fearless leader?"

"Your posture," he pointed toward her legs, "it doesn't say 'hi,' it says 'bend me over a barrel, I like it that way.'"

She blushed and stood up straight, "I don't know what you're talking about or what you're trying to say about me, but I'm going to go ahead and remind you that a merchant is never unarmed."

Niles bared his teeth, "Oh, good, neither am I." His right hand stroked a knife tucked away along the lining of his pants on the outside of his thigh.

"What is your particular obsession with me, anyway?" she demanded, "Being overly persistent isn't going to win you any popularity contests."

He scoffed, "I'm not trying to impress you. There are plenty of easy marks in this camp if I was just looking for a fling."

"Then what's your problem?"

"Heh. It's my private affair, dear. I torment everyone in this camp a bit. This is just your turn. Like the others, you might as well just lie back and take it."

"Oh," Anna's eyes flashed, then she mirrored the thief's smirk, "Now I get it... hahaha!"

He cocked an eyebrow, "W-What? What do you get?"

"I get that you and I might have our fingers in the same pie, so to speak."

"Ha! Now you're speaking my language. Go on, tell me more about where my fingers have been."

"You don't really think Lord Corrin would prefer to be a 'confirmed bachelor,' do you?"

"I do. Have you seen the man? All of these women crawling about and swooning upon his shoulder everywhere he goes, and he just goes on smiling and chatting about his childhood. It's the only logical conclusion."

"Or maybe you've forgotten that everyone doesn't have the appetite of a starved mutt like you."

"Deny the evidence all you want, love, it won't change the outcome. That prime rib is ending up on my table, end of story."

"You're disgusting."

"Did you want to make a wager of it?"

"What?"

"You seem pretty confident. How'd you like to put a bit of money where your mouth is? As well as other things, should you succeed."

"Do you think I'd really debase myself for such a... Er, how much are we talking exactly?"

The thief laughed, "Got your attention now, huh? Fine. Two thousand gold says the prince is more than a little light in the loafers he doesn't wear."

" _Three_ thousand says he doesn't dine in the company of wolves."

"Ha! You've got guts! All right, maybe this afternoon won't be such a bore after all. I'll take that bet."

"Prepare to pony up, pretty boy," she wagged her finger at him, "I'll even let you make the first move, as a sign of courtesy."

"Bad move," he smirked, "I'm notoriously persuasive." Anna rolled her eyes. She ducked to the side as the pair waited several minutes for the prince to emerge from the armory. When he did, Niles strolled out casually, walking in a perpendicular line so as to interrupt him. "Ah, if it isn't Lord Corrin," he saluted.

"Good day, Niles," he responded, "is there something I can do for you?"

"Oh, there's all sorts you can do for me," he said lavishly, "or to me."

"I beg your pardon?"

"A mere jape, milord. You seem in need of a little levity. Look at those eyes, so worn down with the tedium of maintenance."

The prince laughed, "I suppose. I'm plenty busy, all right, but everyone else works hard, too. I'm just doing my best to keep everything in order."

"And what a fine job you do."

"Thank you, Niles. Such praise is rare, coming from you."

"Oh, I'm not so hard-hearted, I'm just a terse fellow, I guess. And at any rate, I think someone so hard-working as yourself deserves a little 'maintenance' of his own."

"I think I misheard you again."

"I just mean it seems like you might benefit from having someone tend to your needs, milord."

"Oh, no thank you. I've got at least five people who pledged to tend to my needs, and they're a handful as it is."

"Ah, but surely you have some... _other_ needs. Perhaps some... less conspicuous ones."

"I can't call any to mind. Should I?"

"Allow me to pose the question a different way: Lord Corrin, if I told you you had a handsome body, would you hold it against me?"

Corrin chuckled, "I hardly think so. Just don't say that around any of the women, Niles. They might get the wrong idea."

"Naturally." Niles sighed and bid a quick farewell to the prince before slinking back into the alleyway where Anna was waiting, covering her mouth with her hand and having her cheeks flush red.

"Swing and a miss," she teased.

"That doesn't prove anything," the thief retaliated, "It could just be that the prince was oblivious to the subtlety of my musings."

"You call _that_ subtlety?" she laughed, "You might as well have pulled down your trousers and run at him."

"I might have, were such things permissible. Either way, I'm not giving you anything until you manage to prove it unequivocally."

"Fine, but all sales are final," she told him.

"And just what are you going to do, master seductress?"

"Not beat around the bush like an imbecile, that's for certain." Niles watched as the redheaded woman stroked her hair before heading down toward the bathhouse. He looked along each side of the path to make sure no one was observing him and followed her, ducking behind walls and corners to ensure he wasn't spotted. Actually, Kaze spotted him as he was dashing between paths, but when he saw that it was Anna who Niles seemed to be pursuing, the ninja simply decided to let it be, correctly guessing that the rogue was simply up to his old tricks. The white-haired man continued to follow along slowly, hitting every shadowy corner along the way until he reached the bathhouse and watched Anna enter the attached tent for disrobing. He took a deep breath and leapt up to grab the tiling of the roof and, with great effort, worked himself up on his elbows, shoulders, and, eventually, his stomach, so that he was able to kick up his legs and land squarely on the roof, where he tried to keep his labored breathing quiet as he waited. Past the walls, he watched Anna enter the water and wave to Charlotte and Kagero, who were also taking a relaxing dip. Niles turned to face the road.

The waiting was uneventful, as Niles took absolutely no interest in the gossip and chatter shared by the three women in the bath. It seemed to take almost an hour, with the sun gradually sinking past the horizon and leaving behind it the black veil of evening, which made it even harder to spot the prince as he approached, but Niles managed to spy him eventually, anyway. Apparently, Anna had some inkling of the time, too, because just as the prince started to stroll their way, she hopped up out of the bath, wrapped herself with a towel, and walked into a corner reserved for bathers drying themselves.

Corrin undressed and entered before long, sitting down in the waist-high water and releasing an exorbitant sigh that Niles thought was simply precious. After a few minutes of him sitting there, eyes closed, however, the subterfuge was revealed: Anna popped out from around the corner.

Corrin bolted up, "Ack! Anna! I'm sorry! I thought it was the men's time! I swear, I don't know how this keeps happening—"

"Oh!" she touched a hand to her cheek, feigning surprise while letting the towel fall from around her, revealing her bathing suit, "Lord Corrin... No, I'm sorry, I knew I'd been in here too long..."

"I apologize," he covered his eyes, "I'll leave and let you dress."

"No, it's my fault," she assured him, "but... can I be honest with you?"

"Honest?" his brow shifted, "Uh, sure."

"I don't really mind what I'm seeing."

"I'm not sure I take your meaning."

"You can move your hand, Lord Corrin."

He did so, but immediately tried to replace it, "Ah, b-but you're still—"

"I know." The water sloshed as Anna sauntered over to him and pulled the hand away, "What's the matter, are you shy about this sort of thing?"

"No, it's just... I didn't think..."

She smirked and leaned over him, "What? Cat got your tongue?"

"Uh, your bathing suit is rubbing up against me, Anna."

"I know."

The prince's face was now entirely red, and not because the steam was getting to him, "I... uh, wow, I'm not sure what to say."

"That's fine, I'll keep the conversation going. I hear you can turn into a dragon. Any chance you'd be willing to show me?"

"I really don't see how that's relevant to—"

"Never mind, I think I found the dragon everyone's talking about."

Corrin squirmed, feeling the pressure applied by Anna's hand, "I... um... this... I don't think..."

"At a loss for words again?" she asked, her bottom lip pouting. He nodded. "You know what I'd say right now?" He shrugged. She grinned and pushed her hand down harder, "Cha-ching."

Both of their heads bolted up as they heard the door shoved open. "Ah, brother. Good, you're in here. I was hoping to chat with you," they heard Ryoma boom.

Anna yelped and dove back into the water without thinking, forgetting that it wouldn't provide much cover.

"What was that?" Ryoma asked, stepping cautiously over to the water. He looked to Corrin, whose face was still bright red. The prince remained speechless. Ryoma nodded, "I see. No need for words, brother, I understand you perfectly. Unfortunately, this _assassin_ seems to underestimate us!" As the samurai pronounced the word "assassin," he pulled Anna out of the water by the scruff of her neck, holding her out in front of his brother like a prize-winning bass. She flailed about quite a bit like a fish pulled out of water, too.

Niles had to slap a hand over his mouth to prevent laughing as he leapt down from the roof and hurried back to his quarters, all the while hearing the voices of Corrin and Anna insisting in unison that Ryoma had made a mistake. The explanation that followed was difficult for both of them.

[...]

Azura stroked one of her long aqua bangs back behind her ear and over her shoulder before taking a glance up at the sun, which was covered halfway by a benign-looking white cloud, accompanied by smaller, similarly soft-seeming clouds. She watched them drift for a moment before hearing a loud, repetitive sound, a bit like the sounds she heard when she stood outside the smithy, but that shop wasn't due to open for a few hours yet, and, what's more, she was on almost the complete opposite side of the castle from it.

She walked toward the center of the castle grounds, from which the sound seemed to be emanating, whereupon she saw Xander beating a stake into the ground with a mallet. The stake held up a sign that Azura couldn't quite make out until she drew closer, at which time she noticed Corrin sitting in a chair with Ryoma standing in front of him, gesturing and clearly giving some kind of lecture. As she drew closer still, it became apparent that Anna was also there, her face a deep red, although her expression was sordid and regretful, like that of a man who has accidentally released his friend off a cliff. She decided she needed to investigate and could finally read the sign: "NOTICE: Be it herein stated that no one who inhabits these grounds, owned by Prince Corrin of Nohr, shall be permitted to court him, flirt with him, curry favor with him, or otherwise consort with said prince in any fashion of an ultimately romantic or intimate nature without the express written consent of both of his elder brothers, being Crown Princes Xander of Nohr and Ryoma of Hoshido."

"Azura, you're here," Ryoma noticed as she walked closer, "Good. My throat is getting strained and I have other things to do today. Maybe you can help my brother to understand why his conduct was so deplorable."

"I'm telling you, I had nothing to do with it!" Corrin pleaded, "She threw herself at me!"

"That's not what I saw!"

"Where's Leo?! I want a fair Nohrian-style trial!"

"Nohrian trials are rarely favorable to crimes of promiscuity," Xander contributed.

"I continue to swear my innocence!"

"Promiscuity?" Azura cocked an eyebrow, "Our Corrin, promiscuous? I thought Laslow was the flirt. What's happened?"

"I caught these two," Ryoma indicated the pair with his left hand, "occupied with each other in the baths. Imagine that! In full view of anyone who might have stumbled in! And they aren't even married! Tell me, does that sound like conduct befitting a prince?"

"I would like to remind the court that we were both still clothed."

"Barely!"

"Are we going to be offered bail?" Anna piped up.

"No!"

Corrin's head sunk as Ryoma stormed off. Azura watched him walk away, then turned to the Corrin, "I don't know quite what to believe, but... if you're going to, uh, take some company for the evening, you should at least know to do it in your own quarters, Corrin."

"Not to worry," he sighed, "I think I'm sworn off of any of this until I'm married, if this is the result."

"Er, let's not be hasty, milord," Anna turned her head.

"Especially you," he leered at her. Azura scratched her head as she could swear she heard laughter from somewhere.


End file.
